Time: The day after Barack Obama is elected President
Characters, Eric, Carl, Oliver.
Eric: What do we do now, Carl?
Oliver: I say we blow up the White House!
Carl: Calm down, Oliver.
Oliver: What do you suggest?
Carl: We take it back.
Carl: We got a great new depression to work with, people losing jobs, losing
homes, watching 401Ks evaporate.
Oliver: But it all happened on W’s watch.
Carl: A year from now nobody will remember.
Eric: What if Obama fixes the economy?
Carl: It’s our job to prevent that. Here’s my plan. He wants to raise taxes, spend
money, put people back to work in projects like FDR’s WPA and CCC. We can’t
let him. FDR had artists painting murals in post offices, for goodness sake. We
won’t even fill potholes or maintain infrastructure. A few bridges collapse, it’s on
Obama’s watch. And no high-speed trains. Cut education. Stomp on unions. Get
rid of Medicare and Medicaid. Cut unemployment insurance. Cut cost-of-living
increases to Social Security.
Eric: I say eliminate Social Security!
Carl: In good time, Eric. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Oliver: What about taxes?
Carl: Read my lips, no new taxes.
Eric: That’s what HW said.
Carl: We won’t back down, no matter what.
Eric: What if Treasury goes bust?
Carl: Great! It’ll be Obama’s fault. Let him get the money from Social Security,
Medicare, and Medicaid.
Eric: Won’t people realize that cutting services is the same as raising taxes?
Carl: When you buy a pound of coffee, it weighs 12 ounces. How many realize
that's a price hike?
Oliver: People sure are stupid.
Carl: Better believe it.