willard Mitt Romney, in France
Romney Pseudo-Rap, or,
White Bread Made This Country Great
(Perform to music with a weak beat)
Willard Romney, call him Mitt
He’s a guy who just won’t quit
Twelve long years since he began
Running for Prez, now he’s The Man.
Our Candidate Republican
Wants to be President, next election
Twenty twelve, Secret Service protection
Doesn’t drink Coca-Cola or any hard liquor,
A White Bread candidate, don’t snicker
It’s time you started to appreciate,
White Bread made this country great.
- Pause -
Willard Romney, call him Mitt,
His great granddad was a Brit
Sailed across the Atlantic ocean
Settled in Utah, “land o’ Goshen.”
Wanted a big family
Got a wife, then two, then three
But the country wasn’t ready for polygamy
Pretty soon the Feds came down
Mitt’s great granddad had to skip town
Jumped the border into Mexico
Bought property from Porfirio
Where his daddy, George, was born,
But Mexico was too war torn
A guy named Emiliano Zapata
Turned it into a hot piňata
When he started his revolution
There was only one solution
Back again to Salt Lake City
Next thing you know, they’re sitting pretty
- Pause -
Willard’s dad became CEO
Of American Motors, don’t ya know,
Then Michigan governor, what a bounce!
Inspired young Mitt to announce,
“Some day I’ll be famous like dear old dad
But richer!” An ambitious lad.
Went to college, draft deferred,
Then France as a missionary, draft demurred
Back to college in the Vietnam war
Most students against it, young Mitt for
But safely married with kids to Anne
Never served as a soldier man
- Pause -
Got law and high finance degrees
Made big bucks, keeps it in deep freeze
Bermuda, the Caymans, overseas.
Asked about his income tax
Revealed one year, and that’s the max
- Pause -
Of course it’s perfectly law abidin’
But makes you wonder, what’s he hidin’?
- Pause -
The thing about Willard, call him Mitt
You know for sure that he’s no twit
That noble brow, that steely glance,
That open shirt, those denim pants
A business man, he didn’t make Billions
Only a few hundred millions
So Mitt is middle class, you see
Like friends and neighbors, you and me
Sweet wifey Anne says he’s a doll
And a seriously conservative pol
- Pause -
Mitt plays political “Simon Says”
You say, he’ll do, if you make him Prez
Obamacare’s finished. He’ll lower your tax
Kick Aliens out! Jobs to the max
But how will he do it? Says. “Leave it to me
I’m a business man, know economy.”
Campaigning now, when he gets to you
Listen politely, and please don’t boo
Clap and cheer and wave Mitt banners
Always display your party manners
He doesn’t drink Coca-Cola or any hard liquor,
He’s the White Bread candidate, don’t snicker
It’s time you started to appreciate,
White Bread made this country great!
- Music fades -
[to be continued]
White Bread Made This Country Great
(Perform to music with a weak beat)
Willard Romney, call him Mitt
He’s a guy who just won’t quit
Twelve long years since he began
Running for Prez, now he’s The Man.
Our Candidate Republican
Wants to be President, next election
Twenty twelve, Secret Service protection
Doesn’t drink Coca-Cola or any hard liquor,
A White Bread candidate, don’t snicker
It’s time you started to appreciate,
White Bread made this country great.
- Pause -
Willard Romney, call him Mitt,
His great granddad was a Brit
Sailed across the Atlantic ocean
Settled in Utah, “land o’ Goshen.”
Wanted a big family
Got a wife, then two, then three
But the country wasn’t ready for polygamy
Pretty soon the Feds came down
Mitt’s great granddad had to skip town
Jumped the border into Mexico
Bought property from Porfirio
Where his daddy, George, was born,
But Mexico was too war torn
A guy named Emiliano Zapata
Turned it into a hot piňata
When he started his revolution
There was only one solution
Back again to Salt Lake City
Next thing you know, they’re sitting pretty
- Pause -
Willard’s dad became CEO
Of American Motors, don’t ya know,
Then Michigan governor, what a bounce!
Inspired young Mitt to announce,
“Some day I’ll be famous like dear old dad
But richer!” An ambitious lad.
Went to college, draft deferred,
Then France as a missionary, draft demurred
Back to college in the Vietnam war
Most students against it, young Mitt for
But safely married with kids to Anne
Never served as a soldier man
- Pause -
Got law and high finance degrees
Made big bucks, keeps it in deep freeze
Bermuda, the Caymans, overseas.
Asked about his income tax
Revealed one year, and that’s the max
- Pause -
Of course it’s perfectly law abidin’
But makes you wonder, what’s he hidin’?
- Pause -
The thing about Willard, call him Mitt
You know for sure that he’s no twit
That noble brow, that steely glance,
That open shirt, those denim pants
A business man, he didn’t make Billions
Only a few hundred millions
So Mitt is middle class, you see
Like friends and neighbors, you and me
Sweet wifey Anne says he’s a doll
And a seriously conservative pol
- Pause -
Mitt plays political “Simon Says”
You say, he’ll do, if you make him Prez
Obamacare’s finished. He’ll lower your tax
Kick Aliens out! Jobs to the max
But how will he do it? Says. “Leave it to me
I’m a business man, know economy.”
Campaigning now, when he gets to you
Listen politely, and please don’t boo
Clap and cheer and wave Mitt banners
Always display your party manners
He doesn’t drink Coca-Cola or any hard liquor,
He’s the White Bread candidate, don’t snicker
It’s time you started to appreciate,
White Bread made this country great!
- Music fades -
[to be continued]
RSS Feed