I’ve decoded Herman Cain! He’s a prankster, and he’s pulling the leg of the whole U.S.A. I was slow on the uptake, but after all, he’s a master at the top of his game, a living, sweet-talking example of
Extended Murphy’s Law. (Post, July 14, 2011.) He even adds a new extension: “No matter how unfit you are for public office, if you
run, some people will vote for you.”
Like all who saw the TV ad in which his chief of staff, Mark Block, makes a pitch and smokes a cigarette, I was bewildered until it hit me: a put-on! And don’t you love the parodies, someone mumbling a pitch, then eating spaghetti, slugging whiskey, passing out, shooting himself in the head. And he got the parodies free and now leads in the polls. The guy is brilliant!
Did you see Eddie Murphy in The Distinguished Gentleman? By mistaken identity, he finds himself in Congress and does just fine. I can see Herman Caine at a summit meeting with Angela Merkel, Vladimir Putin, Silvio Berlusconi, Wen Jiabao. He’s at his best talking off the top of his head and will have a great advantage because he knows absolutely nothing! Talk about a survivor! He’s a ping pong ball in a hurricane blowing with the wind while everything weighty is smashed.
When asked if he’d support a constitutional amendment to ban abortion he smiled (and what a smile!) saying, “If it comes to my desk, I’ll sign it.” If you think he doesn’t know that presidents don’t sign amendments to the Constitution, you don’t recognize a punch line when you hear one.
As for knowing who is president of “Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan,” his rejoinder: “How’s that going to create one job?” blew everyone away.
The burning question is, who will he choose as his running mate. Ann Coulter? Bill O’Reilly? Newt Gingrich? Rush Limbaugh? Michele Bachmann? John Boehnor? Mitt Romney? Oliver Norquist? Sarah Palin? Glenn Beck? I've got it! Eddie Murphy in his Nutty Professor costume!