After Hurricane Katrina smashed and drowned New Orleans, George W. Bush said to his FEMA director, Michael Brown, “Brownie, you’re doin’ a heck of a job!” Of course Brownie was doing a terrible job and was soon fired, but Bush’s words didn’t come back to haunt him because nothing he said meant anything. One still seeks a Republican whose words mean something, an Eisenhower, a Rockefeller, even a Nixon despite the baggage. Might it be Marco Rubio, now trumpeted as a Rising Star? Judge for yourself.
Question: How old is the Earth?
Marco Rubio: “I’m not a scientist, man, I can tell you what recorded history says; I can tell you what the Bible says; but I think that’s a dispute amongst theologians, and I think it has nothing to do with the gross domestic product or economic growth of the United States I’m not a scientist. I don’t think I’m qualified to answer a question like that.
Illuminating? Let’s extend it it bit:
Host: Why do you think your party lost the election?
Rising Star: Easy, man. Dems bought up the votes. Anyway, who says we lost?
Host: You lost seats in both Houses and Obama is still President.
Rising Star: You could say the English lost at Dunkirk.
Host: Dunkirk was a strategic retreat.
Rising Star: Exactly.
Host: Are you saying Republicans deliberately ceded the election?
Rising Star: Small government, low taxes, and drill baby drill, made this country great.
Host: I see. Are you ready to compromise to avoid the fiscal cliff?
Rising Star: Compromise with the Democrats is no virtue. Allegiance to the American dream is no vice.
Host: I don’t think that’s quite how Barry Goldwater put it.
Rising Star: Barry who?
Host: Are Republicans willing to see tax hikes for all and deep cuts in military spending?
Rising Star: Consent of the governed is where we’re at, man.
Host: Do you favor repealing Florida’s “Stand your ground” gun law?
Rising Star: Hey bro, I’m not un-American.
Host: Should the U.S. relax its trade embargo with Cuba?
Rising Star: My favorite drink is rum and coke. We call it Cuba Libre.
Host: Some consider you a future presidential candidate. Care to comment?
Rising Star: My folks built me a log cabin in our back yard. Before I went to sleep in it, I read the Constitution by candle light.