* Romney/Ryan ticket wins Florida by one vote.
* Five to four Supreme Court decision declares Mitt Romney President.
* Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg hits Chief Justice Roberts on head with gavel
* Ronald Reagen Lunch Program revived: fries with two veggies: ketchup and pickle relish.
* Taxes of top 1% reduced to 1%.
* Federal tuition imposed on grades K-12.
* 50 Trillion corporate cash repatriated tax-free.
* Arizona Safe Neighborhoods Act nationalized. Half million undocumented aliens self-deport. Eleven million sent to Guantanamo.
* Archer Daniels Midland loses thirty thousand farm hands. Workfare clients shipped to farms demand minimum wage. “We’re trying to help these people but they prefer being victims,” Pres. Romney declares.
* Ship-building industry revived with 50 super luxe cruise ships each accommodating 300 passengers, crew of 2,000, Sheldon Adelson Casinos, sex kittens, and boy toys. Funded by College Tuition Tax.
* Cadillac, Mercedes, BMW, Jaguar, and Lamborghini owners offered federally subsidized car maintenance. Paid for by tax on food stamps.
* Ann Coulter becomes third female member of Augusta National Golf Club.
* Country club membership fees made tax deductible as business expense.
“Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck declare, “We’re soulmates!” Married by Rev. Jeremiah Wright.
* Racing yacht, America’s Cup One, presented to President Romney by super pac, Restore Our Future. “We had a few bucks left over,” says Donald Trump.
` * One thousand 500-acre retreats carved out of National Parks for sale to job-
creators. Funded by elimination of Environmental Protection Agency.
* Black sea sturgeon imported to produce caviar in mini-sea bulldozed out of the Colorado Plateau Desert. Water piped from Canada in exchange for quadrupling bituminous oil flow through tar sands pipeline.
* Pres. Romney deploys troops to chase jobless Iraq and Afghanistan vets out of “Romneyvilles” in D.C. and state capitals.
* Zebra dressage exhibitions on White House lawn. Sponsored by Ann Romney.
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